Politics of Sadism Part II

Yes indeed inflicting pain of some type on my other is immensely pleasurable from a pure emotional or sexual reaction.

When people often discuss sadism in an attempt to discuss people like me they often are very much hit and miss with the facts. Some do it out of complete ignorance and as discussed in part one self serving beliefs. Others choose way outdated definitions or screw up trying to recall way back when learning or simply read through something way too fast. Finally there are people hiding in cyber thinking they are all that that write in some haste the first thing that pops into their head and then feel the need to defend the fact they have to be right then any actual discussion or truths.

Here are the most common myths when sadism is discussed:

1) Sadism is under the umbrella of being a sociopath or is just a characteristic of one. I am not sure why this happens so often. It maybe because they are in the same cluster when reading up on personality types and traits and it confuses people, it helps the fear mongers to want to think that or any other way but often you will hear people mention them that you cannot have one without the other or sadism is a trait of a sociopath.

People can have more then one main personality issue when discussing the unhealthy mental health of someone. It is true that sadism can very well be more common then many other types that a sociopath may have in addition to being sociopath. But sadism and sociopath is not a mutually inclusive thing.

2) Sadists lack empathy. This goes with #1. Sociopaths do not have empathy. Sadists certainly can and do, especially us healthy ones! The two most common personality disorders that lack of empathy is prevalent is of a sociopath and a narcissist. If all types of sadist did indeed lack empathy then we would be too dangerous to play with. People in the BDSM life do things that on occasion or often that the bottom experiences difficulty or does not enjoy. We are not quick to label some one a sociopath and lacks empathy if we chastise a man for a period of time or do some mutually agreed to rape scene to a submissive woman. Well a healthy sadist is no different from any other top that balances enjoyment of doing things with taking responsibility for the safety of the bottom.

3) Sadists enjoy people in pain no matter what the circumstance. No a sadist enjoys inflicting pain of some type on a person. There has to be direct involvement. If you ever want to see a barely five foot and a hundred pound Buddhist passivist ready to throw down just ask me if being a doctor and choosing to work in an ER is because I get pleasure when people come in to the ER in pain. Because that is just sick!

When you read or hear a sadist talking about enjoying a film clip, story or some other thing where they are absent from it but it resulted in pain for someone it is not a core reaction from our sadism. The person is in essence daydreaming with a source of outside stimuli much like someone masturbating to pornography.

There is such a thing as a mentally healthy and sane person who is a sadist. The main things separating us from the unhealthy sadist are with a willing participant and desire to cause no harm, just like any other sane and good person in this life.

A peak into my mind as a sadist

I do not think inflict pain 24/7 and to everyone that pops into my head. I do not ever yearn to inflict pain to anyone that is not my significant other when a person is present outside of a sexual situation sometimes. My sadistic thoughts, feelings and reactions can be just amusing/fun, pleasure to communicate/demonstrate my control/power over my slave and sexually arousing. Sometimes these things can be separate and sometimes they can be combined.

I have never found I build up some tolerance and need bigger and more intense pain things inflicted on my slave. The slave’s reactions are really are all that is needed. But the critical thing for my enjoyment is that my man thoughts and reactions are in regards to me personally inflicting him with pain. I do not attain much pleasure if I feel the slave fears the situation or the toy more and associates that with his pain.

So for example this weekend I introduced Dave to the wonderful toy of a cane as while he had some experience he had never had a cane used on him. What happen turned more into a practice and learning thing then getting myself worked up from the pain inflicted on him. The reason why the cane was was where his fear was focused and therefore his head. After a few times it will no longer be about the cane but the fact I am holding the cane and that is when it will be sadistically yummy. That when both mental or physical pain the focus and thoughts go toward me as the cause of the pain and that delicious combination of my man in pain combined with our love being interwoven with each other is just simply the spice of life.

Mental can work just as well and for me personally it can be the most pleasurable. This is why I am big on cuckolding and watersports as both plays more in the mind with my man. For example I have been seeing Dave for several months now and we have both communicate the “I love you” for readers to understand we are seriously a couple into each other. He lives roughly forty-five minutes away and since my schedule has me with no regular day off schedule typically we spend weekends together at my place and I go to see him once or more during the week. Pretty much most times we see each other he has gotten lucky for reasons not relevant to the dynamic or this topic. But I have not done much sexual torment over time like I would enjoy doing.

But this weekend was different as I teased and denied him all weekend under the promise of Sunday afternoon maybe I would take care of him. Well Sunday morning came and a male friend called me up and my sadism perked up and I inviting him over for some fun. Then I ordered Dave to head on back to his home unfulfilled and playing it up from the moment I got off the phone to shutting the front door.  Now I do not think it is a coincidence that I did not torment him by withholding sexual pleasure and rub salt into the wound until we had developed feelings for each other and enough time has been spent he had certain expectations from previous actions. Because my sadism kicks in and intensifies the more I have feelings for a man and the more I know he is into me.

Sunday afternoon my friend Matt was the benefit of my sadistic pleasure gained by my lover and slave. Of course I had to call him up after and tell him just what a great time I had with a man that was suppose to be him. It is a gift that can keep on giving.