Play or Real

Do the participants of humiliation and degradation truly believe it or is it all just an act?

I always know when a person is not capable of and will not get anything out of doing these things because this is almost always the question they ask. Is it a decent and fair question, sure, but most of the people asking are not initiating or seeking out such things, being approached by their other to do them or think you get a diploma as an awesome slave if you can do everything. The reason why is because these people simply feel fear and reluctance when thinking about the things that can be done while those cut out for it may feel those things but also feel a draw to them that hit their gut and sexual organs as well.

The answer is if it is just playing or real is that it is both. There are three things at work for people that are drawn to these things:

1) It simply arouses us for just no actual reason at all. We do not question the mental health of a masochist who enjoys physical pain in this life. We do not think to question the mental health of a long term married couple who saved their virginity for the marriage and a decade into the relationship each enjoys often when engaging in sex calling the wife and the wife feeling like a “dirty little slut”. Do either of them truly believe that to actually be the case, of course not. But maybe each other are driven wild sexually by inferring that into their sex life.

The simple fact is what we enjoy or turns us on does not have to have any deep meaning or hidden thoughts and beliefs of some all consuming and zealot way that are just somehow exposed. A long time couple role playing teacher/student, does the one playing student truly believe the one that is playing teacher is a sexual predator? Sometimes things can just be enjoyable and arousing.

2) People are self medicating insecurity. Humans self medicate on a daily basis. When you here, read, see or do that is quite bad when often when people talk about self medicating is when people deal with very unhealthy insecurities and do so without awareness and thusly the way they do can truly be dangerous and self destructive. For example, we eat comfort food after a bad day or event or we vedge out on our couch after a stressful day instead of exercising and cleaning the house.  Most humans do it on a near daily basis.

But when aware and/or playing with an insecurity in a way that comforts the insecurity or brings light to the insecurity being totally irrational this can give a person pleasure by just simply removing all the stress and anxiety the insecurity is causing. In essence effective and enjoyable humiliation and degradation acts will basically take something festering inside and expose it and then after everything is done one can see the world did not change.  A real life example can be good old cuckolding as a man might be so insecure about the woman he loves leaving him for another man for various reasons. When the man then sees his wife go off with another man but returns back to him while still very much humiliated in a real way his insecurity is sated causing him tremendous pleasure at the same time.

This very much goes for dominants as well. Many of my interests in these types of things go toward insecurities I have for wanting to control everything. To take a man I care for and love greatly then humiliate and degrade him lets me feel in control. I therefore enjoy doing these things for pleasure for pleasure sake and need to see my man in a state I can feed that insecurity.

3) People put up mental blocks and want to crush them. Society and nurture aspects often give us very concrete ways we are suppose to look at things. Sometimes for some people there can be quite zealot beliefs getting pounded into their heads. Sometimes a person with self esteem issues can grab on to arbitrary beliefs and values that help artificially boost their esteem. But sometimes this can cause people not to go to places they do wish and strongly desire to go to.

Take the virgins until married example I used. Maybe the wife was told throughout her life before marriage that sex was bad and dirty and only done for procreation and out of love and duty toward her man. Maybe she took self esteem boosts by looking down at woman that were sexual.  But now that she is married sex is ok to have and maybe the woman has since puberty had lustful thoughts all the time and has a naturally huge appetite for sex. Her brain and body are fighting each other. But what if humiliating sexual acts in essence allow her brain to be overridden in terms of temporarily embracing she is truly a filthy slut and can enjoy what sexually is done to her.

To me this is what clearly explains why there is such a big difference between female slaves who seem to be drawn to humiliation and degradation less then male slaves. To me male slaves have to overcome that macho society thoughts of being tough and all alpha and need to be humiliated and degraded by a woman in order to tap into their true personality of being totally submissive. Something a woman like me has no problem doing. ;)

Beliefs then true?

The aspects of or in the moment they can certainly feel true. But in the end they are not in terms of the core person and the relationship between the two people. People do not love and respect people if they truly thought of them a weak and pathetic in some grand way. We simply would not stay with a person like that. Just as a submissive would not stay with a dominant if they were not shown any respect and felt they were wanted and cared for.

But humans are not perfect and always strong in letting our brain and logic rule our behaviors and desires. When either insecurities build up or thoughts of certain types that trigger arousal go toward these acts then they can most certainly feel real to us. This is what makes power exchange relationships often so much more enjoyable and right for people like us then regular ones. I am sure tonight there is another woman sitting next to her guy and getting turned on fantasizing about squatting over his face and emptying her bladder. Maybe all she ends up doing is when he is eating her out later that night she grinds her pussy into his face a little harder then normal. For me I get to just squat over my slaves and piss all over his face.

Without the in the moment reality all of this would simply be bad play acting. What makes it great, beneficial, fun and arousing is when both people are lost in that moment. Even when things like this transcends moments and carries over to the dynamic and the people in it what is being done is the foreplay/beginning of the dance. It is instead of pushing these insecurities or arousal we are not suppose to have deep inside and pretending to lock them away to they explode out of us we just keep a valve open letting it always have some enjoyable release.