For the Right Reasons Part II

If the power exchange life is not within you from the right motivation and passion standpoints and your pursuit is more about getting the byproducts you doom yourself in your pursuit to failure, loneliness and frustration.

Submissives motivation and passion

Often when the put down “do me subs” is mentioned it can feel like people think that most males identifying as being submissives are a bunch of con artists intentionally trying to scam a female dominant into kinky sex with them. But the fact is often the male submissives are not do me subs at all but just poorly communicate what they are about and motivated by. But of course there are still plenty of men that will try to portray themselves as submissives to get kinky sex but they will never last past any halfway wise mistress in the getting to know each other phase of a relationship. Why? Because they have no ability to show the motivations behind what a submissive man is about.

Here are a few motivations and personality traits that I have found quite common in significantly submissive men. I do not mean that this is a set list or must have everything listed deeply but I do believe most submissives have these things in some degree.

1) Strongly desire the one they care for is happy in a frequent, direct and clear way. Generally when we love and care for someone we of course all strongly desire and often wish to do just about anything to make them happy if we can. But the truth is while we can state something like that and pass a lie detector test most of us on the planet while really do desire our other to be happy the do anything is not quite there as we tend to use some proportional balance. In other words, if a person has a crappy week ahead of them they are usually not feeling the desire to go out of their way in that week to make sure their other is having a really great week. But submissive people tend to want if they can their other happy no matter or not tying into how they are at the moment. Please note this is very different then never needing to be happy or have personal desires other then this fulfilled.

Direct and clear is important because it personalizes them and they know for sure and it will sooth second guessing. Submissive men tend to be overly sensitive to what their owner is giving them in terms of clues of how they are feeling or wanting. A mistress can get a ton of great relationship fuel with well placed compliments on the slave’s services.

2) Hate ambiguity and see power exchange as a way to clearly define things and communicate them directly. A man with a submissive personality and naturally defers and in at least some way spoils the woman he is with is just then logically going to tend to be pushed away from cryptic messages, non communication and all the other things many women do that avoids directly stating what we are wanting and feeling. A submissive man though will gravitate and just go nuts over a woman that can be direct and they see femdom being a great chance for that.

This does not just go to specific moments or things but also an outline of what is expected of them. Men simply just do not respond to always doing A then finding out their other is mad at them because they should of figured out by the way they were acting they should have done B that time.

3) Desire a strong sexual atmosphere in the relationship. First one disclaimer, you can find men who are asexual or with very low sex drives but for the 99% of them this one is a big motivation.

One of the biggest misconception females have about men and this is especially true with submissive men is their genuine attention toward sex in their brain is not just about the number of times they can orgasm and trying to do just that. What men often are doing when they have sex on the brain is enjoying the thoughts that are included and how their body reacts when they are enough to get blood flowing into their second brain. Why this is a motivation for a submissive is because what I just wrote crosses with how men have been trained in society and that is a happy woman is a sexually affectionate woman. So combine all of that up and sexuality within the relationship is important to the submissive man because they can have sex on the brain and get the needed clues of their woman happy because she is being sexual in someway. Again this does not mean sexual acts but we are talking about winks, what is being worn, how we order them to do something and on and on.

It is this one that can fail many female dominants not actually cut out for female domination and many genuinely submissive men sink themselves by acting too much like a “do me” selfish bottom only submissive. Because men have sex on the brain and because submissive men want to please and see their mistress happy that this has to be on display in the relationship otherwise the submissive is not getting their needs that fuel the obey and deeply submissive desires and behaviors.

Many men wander into power exchange and focus on the sexual aspects for an actual reason other then they are just dogs. They do so because they have felt hurt, confused and betrayed in regular relationships often with what I have written, sexual atmosphere is a sign of a happy and loving atmosphere to them. Why is this well think through it logically. A submissive man does not turn into a submissive man when he first learns about power exchange relationships but has been submissive in many ways in most or all of his serious relationships. The man tends to defer to and spoil the woman he is with but if that is the yin the man is expecting the yang and when he does not get it is then when negative feelings build and the relationships tend to blow up.

So what is the submissive man wanting/yang? Why of course the woman expressing her love an appreciation in a sexual and affectionate way. But what can often actually happen is the woman takes being deferred to and spoiled the other way and begins to take the man for granted. So for example what the woman might have worn sexy bras and panties gets replaced with boring and unattractive bras and panties because they are more comfortable. But to the man what is being communicated is I care less about you now. Now for an average man that can be fine as they do similar things as well but for the submissive man he doing things and needs consideration back. If you think this is all far fetched, just think in your life or have seen other couples in action. Which gets a male to jump and obey a woman, just barking out an order or request or a woman who asks for the same thing but has some sexuality in it by her body language or how she phrases it?

So submissive men latch onto femdom and see all the sexual and kinky things and can tend to obsess over them and come off as a “do me” submissive when in fact they could be wonderfully submissive men.

Passion for the power exchange is the fuel that makes the power exchange relationship go and not crash and burn.

Besides the thought of wanting a power exchange relationship merely for a specific end thing(s) or a natural byproduct which of course can mean a lack of passion, there is still a difference between someone with no passion for power exchange and someone that is truly passionate about it. If the dynamic itself does not simply bring a joy to the person in it, hopefully because of compatibility often by what I have written in the motivations, then most of the work it takes to live the dynamic will be too much and cause one or both people to give up. This is why I am extremely skeptical of a female dominant who expresses her interest in femdom by always commenting on specific things. If one has a joy to femdom then ones first thoughts would not describe someone cleaning their house.

This relationship dynamic is not remotely different then any other relationship dynamic when it comes to effort and sacrifice in terms of no matter your role commitment and devotion to another human being requires those two things. When we do things in our relationships that do not bring us the joy but we do out of needing to be done we rely on our passion for our other and this certainly includes how we live. If there is no passion for the dynamic and/or you cannot fuel your passion by things done in the relationship which are usually the kinky and sexual ones then no desire for what is the end product will save you from failure. Often when you here about the dynamic puttering out between two people that have genuine feelings for each other it is because one or both just do not have the passion.

So the next time talking to your potential other mistress or submissive get a feel for much they enjoy the dynamic compared to if the only thing they talk about is specific things. People cannot hide the passion for something when they are talking about it.