If It Was So Simple

Do you mind if I record this?

There is probably a serious discussion on what I am about to write that I reserve the right to pontificate to nauseam in the future but for now I just want o keep simple and light.

There are four things right off the top of my head that are important to me when I fuck a man:

1) I enjoy it.

2) He enjoys it.

3) If we enjoy it that he feels comfortable in wanting to do it again if we choose to.

4) That I do not use him in some way like mislead or do something that he would really be uncomfortable or disprove of.

I switched to an iPhone several months ago. When I first got it the phone came with all of the applications that are thought was a waste of space but since have found many of them to be very useful. But the one application that got my brain all excited and racing in all sorts of thoughts and possibilities was the app that allows a person to record from the phone and if you want email it to yourself or anyone.

Now all of you cuckolds and those thinking about wanting to be cuckold should be thinking the same thing that I think about and of course that is recording a little sex session with a bull with it. Now there have been ways in the past to do such a thing but often you were a prisoner to the way more then creating possibilities.

Here are some of the ones that my mind has come up with over the months I have owned this phone:

1) Email my slave after finished and in particular when he had no idea I was sleeping with a guy so it is a surprise to him when he gets it.

2) When I am back with my slave we play it back together and I add my commentary to the recording.

3) Make him some mix CD that has a bunch of love songs and sneak in a portion of a recording.

4) Same as #3 but make a whole CD of various best of recordings.

5) When having sex with my slave play the recording and tell him I need to listen to it because it makes it easier for me to imagine I am fucking someone besides him.

Difference between reality and fiction

Sadly though the reality of recording a sex session can be far more difficult to make happen then when we imagine such a thing in our fantasies as the biggest thing for this is the fact a third person has entered into the picture. I always can often tell when I have read people stories of cuckold situations where many of them clearly are pure fiction. The reason being because the man fucking the wife is often so non descript or out of stereotype central for bulls all happy to have the husband there and help humiliate them.

The reality is most men naked in the same room maybe outside of a gym shower can wig them out. Throw in having the husband in the room or in the house and that to most men is at best highly uncomfortable and at worse a no way and no how situation for them.  My point is going back to the four things I mentioned that are important when fucking another man. That the experience for both of us relies on each being comfortable and being able to focus on the sex without distractions as much as possible simply makes the best experience.

Now do not get me wrong you can find men that enjoy some or all of the more stereotyping elements of the bull role but for me personally I do not limit my sexual partners based on if they can do such things or not as it is far too limiting. This goes to recording sex on audio as to me I would not do it secretly to the man but have to have his agreement which more times then not would be at least awkward and with the strong probability of no way. Plus the odds are it would not help the sexual performance as it would way on the man’s mind.

But there will be men that will get into that. They will probably be the same men that enjoy and get turned on when I am with them and I call my slave up on the phone types would be my best guess as they seem to really enjoy tasting what they think is forbidden fruit.

So I go about my life now hoping to use this iPhone application soon. I just need to find the right man and to ask him if I can record what we do together and let the fun begin.

Who Do I Bed?

So many men besides my slave to fuck but so little time…

I have always gotten a bunch of questions that boil down to the other men in the equation of cuckolding. My first thought was a post like my others put I had difficulty thinking about a way to go about writing it in a somewhat organized manner. Instead I decided to just write about it through a series of questions and answers.

Disclaimers:

1) This is not like most of my other posts in terms of taking a subject and being broad in theory form. This is mostly just about me and my personal preferences and experiences.

2) Questions came off the top of my head and are not in any order of importance or meant to flow.

Do you play with other submissives?

Great the first question even if it is not really about sex necessarily. I did want to answer this somewhere in my blog though.

I do not play or even meet other submissive men for a specific reason. Since sex is not something in my relationship that shows love and devotion in an exclusive way I am sensitive to anything that can also show that. Therefore my faithfulness to my man is shown by not being with other submissive men. For me personally my man’s devotion, obedience and willingness to suffer for me are the greatest, most touching and intimate things a man can do for me and I want to celebrate them in our relationship and not cheapen them by dilution.

Do you fuck dominants?

When I first started out cuckolding I would quite often as it was simpler in some ways. Over time my experience just were not all that good that I pretty much will avoid people in the power exchange life to bed. Personally my experiences I came to this preference because:

1) My favorite men to bed are ones that will overwhelm me sexually. I found while dominants can of course dominate they are overall worse then average at overwhelming me sexually. What I basically mean by this is many dominant men need too much validation of their sexual prowess and asks way too many questions during sex and that never allows my brain to be turned off and become overwhelmed.

2) A big problem with people in power exchange is assigning everything they do dominant and submissive characteristics and qualities. Too many dominants thinking sticking their penis in me means I have somehow submitted to them and think they can somehow get a relationship based on what they are deluding themselves into thinking what is going on. I am not looking to bottom or have some secret submissive side.

3) They often inevitably say something so stupid I lose all respect for them. For some reason despite communication to the otherwise most dominant men I was with knew I was of course cuckolding my guy and thought they could say something insulting and dismissive of him. Now if we were all together and playing it up for fun that is one thing but they inevitably would do this when we were in private and were serious. I have never understood why they cannot figure out the man I openly am with and have certainly told him I love many times and the man insults him. Do not ever go there!

Then who the hell do you fuck?

1) Open minded friends and co-workers. If my best path was not power exchange my next best path that I would have followed and is still within me is a person with pretty extreme hedonist beliefs. I am one that thinks sharing oneself sexually to a friend is not anything more then doing many others things we do for our friends. For example I am currently banging a friend who is going through a nasty divorce and child custody situation. He is too afraid to date anyone and I felt sorry for him and offer up my body to him when he feels the need to find a sexual outlet.

The other big area of this is my job situation. Working in an ER and night shifts means high stress, seeing and dealing with some serious bad shit and going home when most people are going to work. A good fuck is often a normal way to deal and decompress and hookups a common thing and something I enjoy and take full advantage of. Plus with irregular and uncommon off days it is just somewhat natural to hang with co-workers.

2) Men that catch my fancy. Not too often but sometimes between being horny and a way a man catches my sexual thoughts I can be seductive and try to bed him. It can be a one time or something ongoing based on the situation, what happens and any ongoing feelings of the lustful variety. These work really well when humiliation is desired in the cuckolding relationship as I am not a great actress and the more real vibe I am specifically horny for a man makes it more humiliating to my slave.

3) Self esteem boost. Sometimes a girl enjoys knowing she still can get a man to really want to nail her. There are just times I have found myself in situations where I had not planned to but somebody makes the moves on me that they make me believe I am very sexy to them that I will respond to. For example I joined a gym when I moved to KC and a twenty year old man flirted with me until I was so flattered he got to do me several times although I had nothing in common and pretty much wished he could shut his mouth and not talk.  But it was a nice reminder of the recovery power of young men and women’s gyms would be packed if they had that type of option for burning calories.

4) The cuckolding part is the main drive of the sexual activity. Maybe between longer stretches of not stepping out on my man for the way life sometimes work but most often just the lust that specifically seeking out and doing things to maximize the power exchange cuckolding experience I sometimes want to really indulge in it. For example weekend getaways and vacations I particularly get in the mood to do this. My ex and I would go on vacation in warm places often because he was an avid scuba diver. So while he would go off scuba diving I would head off to the beach or pool and troll for some cock. Some of the best times we had was hooking up with someone(s) and him be left alone all day and night often with some people at the place we were staying knowing what was going on.

How often do encounters happen?

There is no pattern or some ultimate goal with my sex life. I do like to cultivate a few friends with benefit types around but people have lives to live, get busy, not comfortable doing it in an ongoing situation and things like that. Having a “bull” or a “lover” (a term I never use) can be very enjoyable for many reasons but they do not usually last as they inevitably push for more then I will give and often will develop feelings or at least pretend to so they can try to manipulate me.

I have had plenty of significant stretches where no sex is happening and had stretches where I was so busy I was stretching myself too thin. I am not built for monogamy and life experiences have had me embrace this then be scared by it so I am more then likely to seek out then wait for something to happen when I go too long without.

Do I do date things, weekends together or trips with other men?

In general no to trips but might not rule that out in the future depending on the circumstances. Something like I have a lot more vacation time then my guy and a man I trust will not try to turn it into something more then it is then I would consider it.

Short things like weekends or an equivalent is totally open but the reasons have to be for something other then what my man can or wants to provide. For example when I was living in Denver with my odd days off I would think nothing of going with a man for a few days of skiing and frolicking during days my slave had to work. I have out of friendship played the girlfriend for a guy for a wedding out of town for example.

Date things are pretty much a must for any man that wants to see me on an ongoing basis. A lot of the non sexual stuff really can be the major catalyst in the humiliation aspects of cuckolding. Just reports of wham bam sex are not as deliciously effective as describing a whole night with romantic foreplay or doing things that got us so worked up we had crazy sex.

This stuff is often where you start walking up to the line and have to be careful. To just sex does not really do enough in the mind but doing things too much like your slave is truly completely replaceable is going too far. The goal and fun of what I like to think of as living a cuckold relationship compared to doing cuckold by scenes requires regular head play as opposed to more often in scene just little brain play.

What do I look for in a bull?

I am probably fairly common in what I look for in men compared to many women in terms of the mind for the most part wins out of sheer physical looks. Certainly if I like someone enough to be a friend and go to bed with them then looks do not really matter. I can have just a good of time with a well overweight and balding man then with a man that looks like Matt Damon.

Now in just a man for the most part just being sexual obviously you are not really looking for some complete guy and physical appearance can be the first thing we notice so I will not play political correct. I like men with great eyes that are of average build. Clean appearance and short hair a must. I dislike a lot of body art and men who are either too skinny or too muscle bound.

But what is going to spring my legs open fast is a man with a self confidence that conveys I would be lucky to get with them while coming off as non jerks or men with issues. As I wrote in my motivation entry I love submissive men and are actually attracted to them but the change of pace of getting with a man who does not need my approval and will take me for the ride is very good thing. I think this is not uncommon for a woman that cuckolds in a loving relationship and if you filter through the fiction and taking things to extreme in cyber is why all the bull type stereotypes seem to have traction when females contribute to the information. Basically all the alpha type characteristics and “real man” type comments are just a woman allowing when with one like that to turn off her alpha and enjoy the ride.

Does cock size matter?

 No! Too big can be the biggest problem I have as too small can have plenty of work arounds to please both. Yes, a larger cock can be somewhat more exciting then a smaller cock when you first feel/see it but that excitement or lack of excitement will be rendered meaningless depending on everything else. My ex had an above average cock that was about as big as I really enjoyed the most. My current sweetie has an average size and I adore it.

Cock size as importance outside of extreme small or large is something I equate to a kinky sexual thing. For most it does not matter, for some it is better but not needed and for size queens it is a true fetish where it is a turn on and sometime to the point the only way they can orgasm.

Does race matter?

I am planning eventually to write a post with this exclusively as a topic so I will be brief. No, race does not do anything for me. I welcome all races to my body!

Do you do different things sexually with other that you do not do with your slave?

No, my slave is the man that I love that is there with me, hopefully, day in and day out. I have no desire to deprive myself of sexual enjoyment by withholding something I enjoy and wait for another man to enter the picture. Outside of I do not top anyone but my slave I also do not withhold anything sexually from my bulls that I give to my slave.

Cream pies, do them or not?

While this seems to be a cyber obsession and many male cuckold wannabes really want to eat the cum of the men from their woman’s ass and pussy I only practice anal and vaginal intercourse with a condom on my bulls. Now while I think the internet tells of no protection sex all the time and I am sure there are some that in fact do this my bet is a fairly big majority of women are like me.

Now for my ex thirtieth birthday I did let a man I trusted very much cum inside me so he could enjoy this thing and I did it a few more times for him as a surprise over the years but that was the exception.

While not the same, there are ways to use the other man’s cum to humiliate and degrade your slave and I will save those for another time.

Do you have trouble finding men willing to fuck a married/attached woman?

No! I have had plenty of men though reject me because of it and all sorts of other reasons but if I am horny and determined enough I have been fortunate enough in life to find a man I am attracted to and willing.

One of the big benefits of  not caring if other people know I am not faithful and in fact more times then not enjoying they know is it is the best advertising available to attract people.

What do I tell other men about my situation with my other?

It all depends on the man and the situation. Generally I avoid power exchange type comments all together. I may hint at I wear the pants in the family or if the situation is where the man fucks me while my man is present, in the home or he picks me up when my guy is there then I may talk specifically about me cuckolding him in more straightforward terms.

But most of the time it is don’t’ ask and don’t tell which I think most men prefer. If pressed by a man I really like I will sometimes go I am into an agreed upon open marriage. If the man knows me as friend/coworker like way that is a pretty easy thing to sell and move on with. Pretty much any ongoing thing the man will have to get comfortable that my slave knows he is fucking me and the best bulls are ok and have no problem then being around my slave even if it just a quick hello and goodbye thing.

This is a pretty big play it by ear thing. Some men cannot handle that the man knows no matter the situation and some men just enjoy the illusion of taking me sexually thinking it is illicit.

Now some of the most fun to be had in cuckolding is being with the other guy and calling your slave. Now some men calling your guy especially when naked in a bed is too much for them. But some whether they know my guy is ok with it or they enjoy the deception a lot of fun can be had.

My main goal though in what to say is not to make the other man uncomfortable because of something I did because it hurts the quality and quantity of the sex.

Do you enjoy fucking men in front of your man or something more private?

It is complicated and something to write as an individual post. The quick answer is I like variety and enjoy both to be in my life. But the other guy is really everything in the equation to what you can do and how much fun or lack of fun it can be.

I am though as I have expressed now I can classify at many times a person that lives in a cuckold relationship and not one who cuckolds as a scene thing. There are simply always more factors then creating a performance and the goal for all is something we all enjoy and get a benefit out of, including my slave. For this reason I tend to not obsess on this particular aspect.

When you are fucking the other man do you think about your slave?

It just depends on the situation, my mood, the other man and on and on. Sometimes I never think of my slave and sometimes the humiliating cuckolding thoughts are the main things stoking a pleasurable experience. But most of the time it is somewhere in the middle where I can at times being doing one or the other when with another man.

Examples if I am stress out or bugged by seeing a particular bad thing at work and I bang a coworker the odds are my slave is never thought of. Just like if I have my slave help me prepare for a date and know afterwards we will re-live the date together then the odds are pretty good I will play up the cuckolding aspect big time in my head for pleasure.

It is something after all that can bring great pleasure when I am fucking a man that is not my slave and he just takes it like a good little slave should.

Politics of Sadism Part II

Yes indeed inflicting pain of some type on my other is immensely pleasurable from a pure emotional or sexual reaction.

When people often discuss sadism in an attempt to discuss people like me they often are very much hit and miss with the facts. Some do it out of complete ignorance and as discussed in part one self serving beliefs. Others choose way outdated definitions or screw up trying to recall way back when learning or simply read through something way too fast. Finally there are people hiding in cyber thinking they are all that that write in some haste the first thing that pops into their head and then feel the need to defend the fact they have to be right then any actual discussion or truths.

Here are the most common myths when sadism is discussed:

1) Sadism is under the umbrella of being a sociopath or is just a characteristic of one. I am not sure why this happens so often. It maybe because they are in the same cluster when reading up on personality types and traits and it confuses people, it helps the fear mongers to want to think that or any other way but often you will hear people mention them that you cannot have one without the other or sadism is a trait of a sociopath.

People can have more then one main personality issue when discussing the unhealthy mental health of someone. It is true that sadism can very well be more common then many other types that a sociopath may have in addition to being sociopath. But sadism and sociopath is not a mutually inclusive thing.

2) Sadists lack empathy. This goes with #1. Sociopaths do not have empathy. Sadists certainly can and do, especially us healthy ones! The two most common personality disorders that lack of empathy is prevalent is of a sociopath and a narcissist. If all types of sadist did indeed lack empathy then we would be too dangerous to play with. People in the BDSM life do things that on occasion or often that the bottom experiences difficulty or does not enjoy. We are not quick to label some one a sociopath and lacks empathy if we chastise a man for a period of time or do some mutually agreed to rape scene to a submissive woman. Well a healthy sadist is no different from any other top that balances enjoyment of doing things with taking responsibility for the safety of the bottom.

3) Sadists enjoy people in pain no matter what the circumstance. No a sadist enjoys inflicting pain of some type on a person. There has to be direct involvement. If you ever want to see a barely five foot and a hundred pound Buddhist passivist ready to throw down just ask me if being a doctor and choosing to work in an ER is because I get pleasure when people come in to the ER in pain. Because that is just sick!

When you read or hear a sadist talking about enjoying a film clip, story or some other thing where they are absent from it but it resulted in pain for someone it is not a core reaction from our sadism. The person is in essence daydreaming with a source of outside stimuli much like someone masturbating to pornography.

There is such a thing as a mentally healthy and sane person who is a sadist. The main things separating us from the unhealthy sadist are with a willing participant and desire to cause no harm, just like any other sane and good person in this life.

A peak into my mind as a sadist

I do not think inflict pain 24/7 and to everyone that pops into my head. I do not ever yearn to inflict pain to anyone that is not my significant other when a person is present outside of a sexual situation sometimes. My sadistic thoughts, feelings and reactions can be just amusing/fun, pleasure to communicate/demonstrate my control/power over my slave and sexually arousing. Sometimes these things can be separate and sometimes they can be combined.

I have never found I build up some tolerance and need bigger and more intense pain things inflicted on my slave. The slave’s reactions are really are all that is needed. But the critical thing for my enjoyment is that my man thoughts and reactions are in regards to me personally inflicting him with pain. I do not attain much pleasure if I feel the slave fears the situation or the toy more and associates that with his pain.

So for example this weekend I introduced Dave to the wonderful toy of a cane as while he had some experience he had never had a cane used on him. What happen turned more into a practice and learning thing then getting myself worked up from the pain inflicted on him. The reason why the cane was was where his fear was focused and therefore his head. After a few times it will no longer be about the cane but the fact I am holding the cane and that is when it will be sadistically yummy. That when both mental or physical pain the focus and thoughts go toward me as the cause of the pain and that delicious combination of my man in pain combined with our love being interwoven with each other is just simply the spice of life.

Mental can work just as well and for me personally it can be the most pleasurable. This is why I am big on cuckolding and watersports as both plays more in the mind with my man. For example I have been seeing Dave for several months now and we have both communicate the “I love you” for readers to understand we are seriously a couple into each other. He lives roughly forty-five minutes away and since my schedule has me with no regular day off schedule typically we spend weekends together at my place and I go to see him once or more during the week. Pretty much most times we see each other he has gotten lucky for reasons not relevant to the dynamic or this topic. But I have not done much sexual torment over time like I would enjoy doing.

But this weekend was different as I teased and denied him all weekend under the promise of Sunday afternoon maybe I would take care of him. Well Sunday morning came and a male friend called me up and my sadism perked up and I inviting him over for some fun. Then I ordered Dave to head on back to his home unfulfilled and playing it up from the moment I got off the phone to shutting the front door.  Now I do not think it is a coincidence that I did not torment him by withholding sexual pleasure and rub salt into the wound until we had developed feelings for each other and enough time has been spent he had certain expectations from previous actions. Because my sadism kicks in and intensifies the more I have feelings for a man and the more I know he is into me.

Sunday afternoon my friend Matt was the benefit of my sadistic pleasure gained by my lover and slave. Of course I had to call him up after and tell him just what a great time I had with a man that was suppose to be him. It is a gift that can keep on giving.

Don’t Worry About Hubby

Motivations why a woman might enjoy cuckolding their man in an open way.

Fair is fair I wrote about the men so now let me write about us women. So why do so many women seem reluctant to embrace the opportunity to have a one sided open relationship where they can have sex totally on their terms when men bring up cuckolding? Quite honestly women by the time they have matured society has pounded into our heads that good girls only do it for love of their man and men do not stay with sluts and this can be difficult to get over. Additionally men and women do age very differently. Men normally prefer women their age or younger and women normally prefer their age or older. The older a woman gets plugged into those preferences means fewer available men. By a time a woman settles into a long term relationship the fear of the relationship blowing up and having to start over much older is not good at all. Playing with sex is always dangerous.

But the age old answer to why do so many women who are approached out of the blue by their man to cuckold them respond worrying about this is a ruse for the man to sleep around as well is control. We use sex in this society to control people and as soon as you unshackle the control of sex in a relationship fear and anxiety can flourish. To an uneducated woman in terms of the male’s attraction to being cuckold the thought can be quite simply even if we did start out just me sleeping with other men I will not really have any high ground if the man decides later he would like to sleep around as well.

Like with the men here are the motivations for a woman to cuckold her man. Some of these can overlap and are separated for clarity and simplicity. Many women can and do have many of these motivations and this is not just a pick one situation.

1) Sex is fun. In other breaking news the earth is not flat, kittens are cute and men have a thing about female breasts. Quite simply women with above average sex drives and feel less then normal society peer pressure to embrace sex as not something just to do for love can think more men to have sex with will mean more enjoyment in life.

Cuckolding can provide a pretty big boost to sexual thoughts in a woman and a sexual atmosphere. Throw in more men to supply the sex and for women embracing the more sex the merrier cuckolding can be a good thing.

2) Cuckolding a man is fun. Hey a woman can have a sexual fetish. You can just have the sadism in you to enjoy humiliating and degrading your man. You can just enjoy the excitement of stepping out on your man. You can embrace some spontaneity in your life.

Because males tend to talk and write about sex more and women tend to avoid it because often means only talking about sex there is a disproportional amount of information floating around. Most of the information is really male centered and of the fictional over the top variety. But for women who enjoy cuckolding it is a great thing to indulge in because it has so many places in it to take enjoyment from. Just think of it in terms of very long foreplay and post coupling. A woman can tease and prepare her man for when she is about to be with another man. She has all the time with the man she does and then goes back to her man and can do things afterwards. 

Plus what is under reported in my opinion is when with the other man it can add to the enjoyment when into cuckolding like me when combining the moment and thinking about the fun thought of the cuckolding act. You can also jazz that up to the max in various ways as well.

3) Seeing our man sacrifice and suffer for us makes our heart thump harder and faster. I think very much for women who are dominants in a power exchange relationship which is happy, loving and long term this will be a significant or the main motivation. Like I wrote in my motivations for men, insecurity of does the other truly love me plays into are desires for power exchange to be in a relationship. People with submissives personalities tend to want to make the other happiest they can be and someone with a dominant personality tends to want to see how much in love and devoted to them the other is.

For at least how I am wired there is no message stronger that can be sent by a man I love then to accept and enjoy I cuckold him. It truly is to me awe inspiring and just rocks my soul and heart for a man to let me do this to him. The internet tends to focus on the humiliation and degradation parts but in a cuckold relationship the quiet moments can mean so much. I have only known a few women in real life that cuckold in a dominant way and we all have shared our stories of those quiet times. It is there we see just how much our man truly enjoys and wants us to cuckold them that it is more then a sexual fetish to them but something that is important to them and wanting us to be happy.

I will never forget the first time I cheated on a man. It was with my first love in high school and was the only time I ever cheated without approval. I remember telling him and expecting to get yelled at and dumped and just working my way up to just balling my eyes out. He spent that afternoon not mad at me but trying to cheer me up and reassure me he was not mad at me. It was just an incredible intense feeling of love knowing just how much he cared for me by the way he acted.

4) Many women are into variety and new experiences. There I wrote it! Many women are generally against the same old things day in and day out especially compared to men. Many men for example like to go to a few restaurants to eat and often order the same things. Many women like to try many restaurants and try many different things. Well this can go toward sex as well. Finding or being in new situations where we are flirting it up with someone and first times from a kiss to actual sex has an excitement that can be attractive to many.

5) Submissive men and the relationship dynamic in general can often hinder the pleasurable aspect all women enjoy of feeling truly taken and royally fucked by a man in an animalistic fashion. Submissive men can make incredible lovers. On the whole they want to or are more than willing to have extended foreplay from giving massages, long make out sessions and all the oral a girl could want. They are simply the most considerate lovers around and should be applauded for that.

But they are not the best either because of their submissive personality or the power exchange dynamic at spontaneity and strongly taking a woman sexually. By their wonderful submissive personality in the first place they want to please which means they want the woman in charge and therefore are not natural to ask for something let alone go for it types. Most submissive men just prefer to be led and told by their owner what she wants or giving huge signals that are impossible not to misinterpret. As a female dominant it is critical to accept this as that is what we want from them most of the time. This is where many female dominants that have a string of failed relationships go awry. They want a man to put their needs first and say they want a female led relationship but when in one they fail to lead or want a man that can be constantly turned on or off in the relationship in taking charge.  

You can order or hint up a storm in how you want to get nailed when it comes to sex with your submissive. But between you being in charge and the submissive more times then not will care a lot about if it was good for their woman that sex is still often fully controlled by the female whether consciously or by the clues she pretty much has to give. Sometimes though a woman just wants to truly just get fucked royally where there is no thinking but only reacting to what the man is doing to us. Pure animalistic throw your brain away and just feel sex and non submissive men are just more prone to give that to us then submissive men.

I think this is where the bull concept comes into play and where females who cuckold have contributed to what is on the internet. I think many women who cuckold search out men that are different then their love one and that man that can manhandle a dominant woman sexually can be quite sought after. By the way this is another reason why the concept of a woman like me developing feelings for a man I bang over my lover is ludicrous. I seek out an aggressive man that overpowers my natural dominant tendencies to basically just fuck the shit out of me and fall for them over a very considerate man who loves me and is focused on pleasing me, I do not think so. 

6) It can be liberating to a woman who society has often made her show off and think about her sexuality but not allowed to enjoy it. Women from the time we hit puberty until the day we die walk a tightrope in society of being physically attractive and showing it to the world and being a deviant slut. Were suppose to wear bikinis on a beach, slinky dresses showing cleavage on fancy nights out or big social event, keep our pussy area nicely trimmed, legs shaved. We are suppose to be enthusiastic and open sexually to the man we have feelings for but still not come off as horny nymphos and too skilled lovers like we have had feelings for more then one man. If we give in to a night or weekend of sexual decadence with a relative stranger we are suppose to feel guilty about it. Often our biggest worries are how other women think and treat us.

It can be very liberating to jump off this tightrope and fall in the direction of embracing our sexuality in terms of allowing to be openly sexual and enjoy sex just for sex. Cuckolding can be an attraction or just a nice byproduct from the release of this stress it can put on women to claim their sexuality as their own and not up for influence by society’s contradicting preferences.

7) Their guy wants them to. This is not so much a motivation in terms of one that encourages a woman on her own to want to cuckold a man or for something that can be successful. But it is a motivation for a woman to try it out and uncover motivations that will make them take to it.

As I have written now in this and the male motivation post, society often molds our minds to what people are suppose to do. Both men and women get pounded good people are monogamous. I tend to believe that most men and women with decent sex drives imagine or get horny in various situations that are not dependent on their one and only. For most and most of the time for all we mentally deal with it in various safe way and with no second thoughts. I think often for people who will take to non monogamy in an open way somehow it takes their other to give in a way some giant green flag signal and other things to go for it. Certainly the draw of the person that loves you and you loving them wanting something from you is always a big thing.

This thought always reminds me of my days in the swinging community. The fairly typical couple that was new would often act somewhat the same. A husband who appears to be going the extra mile for a timid wife to be comfortable starting out then a couple of months later to see the same couple you could only guess if one was dragged into swinging it was the husband by looking how she acts.

I do not know if I would have instigated cuckolding as part of my relationships if it were not for my first love. Right after I confessed my cheating on him between my guilt, two teenager sex drives and as I was soon to find out the fact that it turned my boyfriend on to be cuckolded we were going for some sort of record of the most times two people can have sex while parents were not home. He was the one to bring up that he not only would not mind if I cheated on him that he would like it. This was critical in how my path of how I became who I am today.

Often when cuckolding reasons are mentioned they tend to be male specific. Whether to control the male or to point to stereotyped and usually false statements of lousy sexual performance and this does a disservice because it takes two willing and wanting to people in a relationship to have cuckolding be a wonderful part of their relationship. Women who cuckold men simply will not be willing participants if it is solely the male’s wish or if the man they love truly sucks that bad in bed. The woman must when this is applied to a long term loving relationship have motivations for her own personal enjoyment of doing so.

Please Bang My Wife

Motivation of the man that needs to be cuckolded

In my humble opinion by far with not a close second the most under the radar sexual desire/fantasy/wish/practice out there is men wanting to be cuckold in some way. Whether like with a Mistress like me that it is part of a power exchange relationship or any other way in which a wife sleeps with other men this is way more prevalent in the thoughts of many men then most imagine. From my openly talking about it on the personal site I used to find my guy, my days in my local community in which we were out about it and my days involved in the swinging community I have always been stunned at the amount, different types and passion that men have for this.

I believe it is so under the radar because it is not manly compared to society norms so not only not talked about but often not pursued by men and just left in fantasies. Women who are often approached by their guys often suspicious that it is just a ruse so the man can be with other women. Finally the internet and the cuckold sites have distorted what cuckolding can actually be into something illogical, severe and not realistic.  A key component that so often is not communicated but is the most basic logic in the world. A woman is with her man because he won her heart. In a cuckolding situation the woman loves her man otherwise it would not be a cuckolding situation because she would not be there. 24/7 cruelty, humiliation and lack of intimacy including sexual just is a ridiculous concept when taking cuckolding into reality.

The following are types of motivation of men of all types out there in the world that are drawn to or live as cuckolds. Some only have one primary motivation but many, especially submissive men, can have several or more of these motivations. Some of these motivations have overlap and I separate them to make it easier and clearer.

1) A sexual fetish. Quite simply men turned on sexually just from the act or other things associated with the act that seeing or knowing their wife is getting fucked by another man goes straight to their cock getting rock hard. There are no underlying things going on if it is a fetish for a man this just arouses them.

Now sometimes men with this as a fetish can make the worse men to cuckold if wanting it in a power exchange way or the woman in the relationship wants to have some freedom of who and when. Quite simply once the male has an orgasm some of these men instantly revert back to insecure jealous husbands. This can cause a very roller coaster ride for the wife as the man builds up his desire for the woman to do another guy then after it happens the woman has to often work a lot harder then many other into cuckolding reassuring their man over a much longer time period. This will unfortunately make it too much about the husband and not enough us and for a Mistress like me, forget about it.

2) Men who enjoy and feel free of the responsibility of their wife having a satisfying sex life. This one is probably the most dominating motivation for a deeply submissive man in a power exchange relationship but still big one for many of the different types of men. Let’s face it, society has over history dumped the sexual satisfaction of the wife squarely on the husband. Pretty much the most out there definition of good sex is did or did not the woman orgasm during it.  Society projects a man can have many sexual conquests before marriage and infers the sexual expert. Women are to hide their sexual history and infer near virgin the better. A woman cuckolding their man is a very strong declaration of I am in control of my sexuality and therefore be satisfied because there are few limitations on her and this can be a great relief to a man.

This is particularly the case with submissive men. In power exchange an insecurity that is being soothed by what a person seeks out is the insecurity of their loved one leaving. Submissives actively want to see, hear and feel that their owner is happy and dominants seeing, hearing and feeling what their slaves will do, suffer or let them do for them soothes this insecurity. Sexual insecurity of do I do it for my cherished other is a standard one in many as well and for these two insecurities to intersect in a man the possibility of a cuckold situation to be what relieves them of their worries.

3) Men enjoying their woman embracing her sexuality and the lifting of sex from just being thought of something that might be done before going to bed in the bedroom. As I wrote in #2 society has preached for women to downplay their sexuality when they mature and become involved in a serious relationship/marriage. Even very sexual women when in a long term relationship tend to forget to bring the sexy and sexual aspects they maybe once did. The same old routine brings boredom, lack of motivation out of already getting the guy to forget the need to keep the guy and lives get busier causing less time and energy that we far too often take from our sex lives. All of a sudden what was once a very sexual relationship turns into an it is Saturday night I guess we can do it situation. Throw in many if not all of us have been in significant relationships that when they go bad sex and a sexual atmosphere disappears over time that men worry and question if the woman they are with even really likes sex.

Men with even average sexual drives like sex to be all over the place in their dream world. Any sexual thing done by their woman from the most minor to something major that communicates I love sex can be a wonderful thing to most men even if they cannot admit to it. For many men in society of course they want it to be solely contributed to the woman’s love of them. But for men with the cuckolding motivation it does not have to be tied into to them at all and just their woman is sexual.

Sexuality and creating a sexual atmosphere and good quantity and quality of sex can often when there is not something to derail it feed and sustain itself. A woman who has more options then just her husband for sexual escapades has part of her carefree single days restored to her if she wishes that and some of us do. Woman like this will often be and act more sexual overall in their life then someone turning it on and off because it only happens with the hubby sometimes at bedtime.

For example with me, I have a job that I work nights in a very stressful environment. One nice outlet to have when leaving work and looking to decompress is a nice roll in the hay. But I come home when most people are leaving for work. I enjoy cultivating some friends with benefits that have the same problem of living strange hours. While many that do my job fixate on comfort I almost always wearing lingerie that is not as much comfort designed as much as it is sexually stimulating. This makes my life more sexual and the fact the effort to think about the possibility of sex keeps it on the brain and therefore will make my sex life better.

4) The other men get a taste of what I have and they will never get. The hot much younger trophy wife on the shoulder of the much older man as he enjoys watching men stare at her and thinks to himself “you wish you were me”. The man on the beach with a smile from ear to ear as he sees men constantly checking out his wife who is wearing a tiny bikini, he is not simmering in jealousy and paranoia but his self esteem is getting a big old deposit into it by how men are drooling looking at his woman. Well some men love being cuckold for going the extra step and showing men how sexual their woman is and that the other men know they only get a taste and he gets the whole thing.

By the way a big misconception, like often when men approach the subject of cuckolding with their woman and her reaction is it is a ruse for them trying to have sex with other women, is why men who enjoy the swinging lifestyle. A majority of the men that embrace swinging are strongly motivated by #3 and #4 on this list. Some of my worse experiences with sex have to do with a swinging situation where the man I am with is way more into wanting to see his wife get fucked silly then do stuff with me.

5) Men that have had, believe they have had or believe they will have problems being good enough in bed with the woman they care about because of a small penis, impotency, shoot off too quickly, have low or no sex drives and just overly negative about how good they think they are in bed. While many of these men can fall into #2 unfortunately many of them truly have difficulty with actually being cuckold or their low self esteem in the sex area make it difficult for the woman they love to still get the sexual intimacy they want from the one they love.

Most women I know once love comes into play they will work with a man to find a fulfilling love life. For some of these people then cuckolding can be a solution. The problem comes when men, doing what men too often do, diagnose a problem and try to fix a problem without consulting his woman.

6) Men who truly enjoy knowing our seeing the woman they love having a blast. Since most men think an orgasm is the ultimate happy moment then a woman having a bunch of sex will maximize a woman’s happiness. Now this in healthy doses can be all fine and good and this includes cuckolding. There is something to be said in a very warm and loving way coming home from a sexual romp and see your slave all pumped up not out of horniness or feeling vulnerable but generally happy you look happy.

But often people with this desire can be too insecure into the unhealthy range and it actually hurts their ability to be submissive and suffocate another in a selfish and controlling way. Quite simply when they need too often to see you happy and communicating about it to them it can cease to be a genuine affection and be about soothing insecurity.

There was a female slave on a message board recently that wrote asking for advice how to serve and please her master more because he had to work longer hours and under more stress at work. It was quite clear to most she was really asking what could she do to draw positive attention to herself more. Chasing compliments and acts of love from someone is not submissive behavior but needy behavior. A man wanting to be cuckold because he needs too badly to know his wife is having a blast and that will be reflected back to him is only pushing expectations onto his other.

7) Male who have a slave mentality and truly love being dominated that the domination itself can be a sexual turn on. “If I am a devoted slave to my mistress I should never be able to control or limit her. Letting her do what she wishes in her sexual desires has to be her right.” In essence a man wishes to be cuckold because it shows his mistress he loves has accepted her power over him and enjoys dominating him. This is in essence what is happening when I write about the reward for obedience style fails in long term significant power exchange relationships. Because the slave stops feeling their owner is doing things for their own pleasure.

These relationships are like most other relationships then they are different. This means they will also go into the routine and predictable way of life after some time passes. The fact is a slave doing the same domestic stuff over and over is not really going to be any different then any other person in a relationship doing the same things they always do. Even if not careful the things we often do for discipline and fun can become less frequent and go too far in just top/bottom mutual fun. Slaves like to be dominated and need to feel dominated. One thing most people can agree with  a woman choosing to fuck who she wants and when she wants it is a truly dominating act and one at the top or near the top of things to make one feel dominated. For men that love that feeling cuckolding can be a big draw.

So in wrapping this up maybe I miss one or two or they might fit into one of these from my view. There are many motivations that can drive a man to want to be cuckold and a man can had several motivations. It would be wise to understand yourself and know what drives this desire in you if you are a man. It will help you find someone compatible or help you communicate your needs to your other.

Foolish assumptions and my reality

I have actively cuckolded in the past and will do so in the future I have had many men and women inquire about my concerns of safety, concerns of how far to take it and other normal fearful thoughts. Like most anything in life there is not one path that is the best and safe to take but we all have our own paths we must walk. Unfortunately most human beings always try to view others by how they are and this leads to many false assumptions. So I write this to show you how my path is in and around the area of safety and how I practice cuckolding my man.

The main wrong assumption is caused by a combination of fear and projection that makes every one assume to sleep with other men is to pick up strangers off the internet and at bars and along with this the fear of getting an STD. It is so common and to me very frustrating. It is common thought because most men and women so fearful of this blowing up in their face can only imagine doing something like this often with complete or near complete strangers to create a world of plausible deniability. This is not me, not that I am opposed to or never do relative strangers but that is more the exception to the rule with me.

Here is my world and not a fear or fantasy developed world:

1) I am a sadist on a pretty hard core level. I like people knowing I step out on my man. I like thinking or knowing that some people who know me think why does she do that to her man. Yes, some people will treat me badly because of it but for a far majority it is a benefit more then a problem. For one, more people will be up front with me and make it easier to find people I like to sleep with. Another great benefit was my ex being a very handsome doctor that roughly about 15-20 women throughout the years went to him and out of their “unselfish” motivation felt the need to inform him of my cheating on him. We both very much got off on this form of humiliation he received.

2) I do this in real life and not in cyber fantasy world. This has two components that not only do not get communicated but often are played up on the internet the opposite way in a big way.

- Unprotected sex with someone who is not your slave. I maybe incredibly naïve but in real life I just do not think it happens all that often while on the internet fantasy stories and people proclaiming true stories that are in reality are fantasy stories of unprotected sex and cream pies for their slave to eat up. Does it happen out there, I am sure it does, but not nearly the percent one is to believe if all their information about the life is from cyber.

- That a woman like me will easily fall for another man and leave my guy emotionally. My problem with this is twofold. First an important thing required by someone who cuckolds their man is to reassure and make their man confident that this will never be an issue. Many woman institute things like time and term limits on men so it is irrational to think any feelings could come of the sex. A way I do it personally is to always makes sure fairly soon after to go out of my way to make it known how much I care for my guy. Whether sexual treats or everyday spoiling things like cooking his favorite meal or cookies but some way to show my body is not his totally but my heart is. I know in the vast delusion of cyber a female dominant doing anything nice and heartfelt for a male is rare but in real life it happens like any other good relationship. Second, the thought is completely illogical. Some guy I am banging is probably not remotely submissive, willing to be my slave and let alone be cuckold himself. I am a Mistress because it is who I am and what I prefer to be in my role with my significant other.

3) Let us talk about STDs or what we are really doing when we normally talk about STDs and that is trying to control people or convert them to be like us. We take risks in most things we do in life and for most of us it is simply which risks are worth taking and for the wise people the risks worth taking for them is then is done by trying to minimalize that risk in some way. There is always risk when having sex with another person. There is also risk of driving in your car. I work nightly at an ER as a doctor. A shift never goes by without us having to treat as least one person from an auto accident and more times then not a pretty serious injury. I know two people from their experiences that refuse to drive out of being afraid from this exposure but most of us get in our cars without any issue. I can quote statistics all day long about the safety of sex to what a typical person fills their stomach or lungs with and on and on but it always comes down to if it is something you personally will risk or not.

On a side note most discussing safety and in particular non monogamy in this life are rarely if ever actually talking about safety but are talking about their own self esteem and fears in an illogical way. For the most part sex is used in society to control people and this trickles down to kinky stuff in this life. We as a group do the good people do this and the bad people do that approach to this life. The motivation is never really about safety but about portraying what a person does and has done as being the right way making them better then others and things they do not do are portrayed as unsafe and therefore those who do them portrayed as being bad and dangerous. It has very little to do with safety if one sheds any objective light on the words and attach people to those words. I mean really some smoker that is overweight has any actual integrity telling someone like me to not have sex with anyone? Personally though my favorite are people that are married in long term relationships trying to pretend by their preaching they only had one partner that was their spouse, like when they were not single or if they were single again they did not get laid. I know as a woman at thirty-six I know a whole bunch of woman I have known for a long time that banged a ton of men but talking to them now that they are married they sound like they were virgins on their wedding day.

There are risks in most things we do and this includes sleeping around. There are ways to help reduce the risks but not to eliminate them. This has to be accepted but not confused for someone that over hypes the risks to deflect their other fears and anxieties of sex with others that more often then not are the main reasons.

4) I do not control a man through sex nor does a man control me through it out of fear. Outside of pleasure and procreation the other thing sex is used for is control. It is why a man can nail twenty women before getting married and that is ok but he would never date a woman who was happily nailed by twenty men it is a fear of not having control. Women in marriage tend to use sex to control and the fear of not having sex as control as well. People quite simply that are torn between fantasy of cuckolding and the reality of doing it are often afraid of the losing of this mythical control. Because the reality of cuckolding is to strip away sex from love and even if the man remains monogamous the treatment of sex as not attached to love for a spouse is in the spot light.

Personally I do not have that in me. Whether my natural personality, my sadism, my path in life from embracing Buddhism in a profound way, my active time in the swinging lifestyle and a few strong hedonistic beliefs and who knows what else but I am strongly against controlling a person through sex out of fear and personal insecurities. Even as a female dominant that cuckolds her slave and will use chastity none of those things are used for the primary purpose of keeping a man and making him obey. Yes, I am a huge believer of many of the things Elise Sutton communicates and controlling a man through his cock is a big thing but there is a big difference out of controlling it through lust and what I am writing about, controlling through fear.

One who can and enjoys cuckolding has to be open to not using sex as a method of control through fear. Most, including men, are not willing to do this. For example go to a cuckolding site on the internet and see all the erotic stories and “true” stories written by the men proclaiming to be cuckolds. They almost have one thing in common if you look for it close enough and that is the stories almost always still have them in actual control. They are almost still all about begging their other to do it and them both going out and picking up a man he approves of. The stories maybe cuckolding but the words are that of a man still in control in his mind. Much different then someone like me telling my guy I am going out on a date tonight as a simple statement of fact and for him to deal with it.

5) It does not just have to be about quantity of times or men but with effort in creating and maintaining an atmosphere that is sexual and with cuckolding tones in it can be very pleasurable and make actual times last longer. Again from my viewing of what is often discussed in terms of cuckolding in cyber I see three main ways. 1) A women sleeping with a non stop parade of men. 2) A woman takes on a “lover”. 3) Scene playing that basically ends up a woman picking up a man or bangs a friend every once and awhile like it is for a special occasion only. Nothing wrong with these ways but we often when discussing cuckolding a man focus too much on the sex part and with the men focus way too much on their immediate reactions and any type of involvement of a sexual encounter whether before, during or after. The truth is to cuckold a man for me is to make it not an event based focus or thought but to make it an active and out there part of the relationship dynamic.

One of the pleasures of cuckolding is that even when not actively with another man or there is something planned ahead it can still give and help boost the atmosphere of the power exchange relationship, dominant and submissive feelings and enjoyment for all parties. It is in the words and actions that I can use. It is in the sexual situations I put my slave in. Because of the fact my slave is truly cuckolded and it is not just for fantasy or scene playing it allows a freedom in actions and words that can and for me does broaden our sexual relationship just between us and not in fact limit it like often cyber fiction communicates it to be. I am more likely to get my sadism stroked and get turned on. My slave is not worrying about if I will do it again but can relax knowing I will be doing it again and can focus on and receive his pleasure then having to wait just until next time.

Cuckolding My New Man

I have discovered and enjoyed just how cuckolding my man can be done in such different type ways that makes this form of control, humiliation and showing of love and devotion. My ex had a monogamous gut feeling with a lust of humiliation. Just doing another man or him seeing or talking to another man that had done me was enough to kick him into being lowered and humiliated. It was easy and fun.

My new man will take more work as he shares the same philosophy as I do when it comes to sex in a relationship and that it is mostly physical pleasure and that monogamy is more about control and soothing insecurity of a lover leaving then it is about expressing love. That if you do not have the other’s heart and just have the threat of no sex as a way to keep a person then you do not have much of a relationship anyway. Now it is a nice thing to share this philosophy but it makes it much more difficult to cuckold him in a way that humiliates him and ignites my sadistic flames.

He is also different to my ex as my ex was very handsome and had a profession that made women willing to do pretty much anything to land a man like him, thankfully most women cannot take charge and lead in relationships in an assertive way. My guy, while I think he is a cutie, is not a turn heads guy and has a job that women do not swoon over. This combined with his sexual attitudes he enjoys seeing me getting checked out and will most certainly enjoy me on his arm while men who have had me are present. Like many men active in the swinger lifestyle or open relationships are about their woman in a yeah she is hot and horny and she always comes back to me because I make her heart go pitter patter way.

Pretty much from my earlier experiences and knowing other women that cuckold their man the biggest hurdle when push comes to shove is when the first time you have another man fuck you and either the man can or cannot handle it. I pretty much decided to do this early on as I was not about to waste time with a man that could not handle it. But with my guy it turned out to not be so simple to get both a litmus test and my sadistic thirst quenched. As earlier last week I informed him of a sexual liaison with a co-worker. His reply was surprise that it was the first time I had done it since we have been seeing each other and I had informed him that is something very ordinary for me to do with my particular job and hours worked. So much for getting any extra thrill out of his reaction!

So last Friday night I decided to kick it up a gear. He paid me a visit I was wearing nothing but a short silk robe and proceeded to greet him like he was about to get very lucky. Then making sure I had him all worked up I pulled back and informed him I had to get ready for my date with another man that night. I the ordered him to sit at my kitchen table with the lights off and better be like that when I return home. I wanted him only thinking about me on a date with another man. Well came home five hours later and nailed twice by a very horny friend with him sitting at the table. We then went to bed and I made him smell me from head to toe to smell the man and sex on me as much as he could while describing my nice time and throwing in how good the man was. That worked wonderfully with him and even his eyes got a little watery. Very nice and now I know I have something to work with.

I think I got me a very good guy and think the L word will be coming out of my mouth shortly!