Who is Jen?

Who in the heck is writing this crap?

I am a thirty-six year old woman. I am Asian with 50% of me being first generation American. I am a doctor that specializes in emergency medicine also known as an ER doc. I was born and raised in Chicago and spent most of my adult life after med school in Denver until moving to Kansas City in 2009.

I have been in the power exchange life officially since I was nineteen. Unofficially I like many had these desires within me a lot longer and in fact in high school I was in a two and half year relationship with a boy that I basically totally dominated and cuckolded. At the time of course had no concept of what we were doing or any of the terms we use in this life. I have had one long term relationship and was married to my slave for ten years. I am currently in a new and wonderful relationship with a man who does it for me in every way and life is looking awesome.

I have local community experience but no longer enjoy that area at all. I will or have written about this depending on when you are reading this. I am not against local communities but they are very limiting, pander to lowest common denominator both in terms of kinky things and dominant/submissive levels and tend to draw sheep people that confuse a social life with doing this as a personal life where they go out to share this. At the same time though cyber femdom is just horrific in its misrepresentations and female players posing as dominants that I always recommend to male subs to at least start with their local community to have a better idea and be exposed to actual female dominants that cannot hide behind their computers deluding themselves.

I am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed when I was twenty-three with stage three ovarian cancer. This has impacted my life greatly both in positive and negative ways. It eventually cost me my marriage and I am unable to have children but at the same time because of it I discovered Buddhism and have been a student and tried to do my best to practice things learned ever since. It has been a huge blessing in my life and which may show up in this blog and also my failings as a Buddhist as well for all those reading this that are Buddhist too.

I am a female dominant from it is me and I live it 24/7 which is not 24/7 action but 24/7 in terms of mentally and wearing of one hat and not several. I do not have a dungeon for that very purpose as I like and need to play when and where I want and not care for dungeons as they send a message of now we are playing now we are normal type thoughts. I do very much cuckold my slave and have been actively doing that since high school as written above. I am a sadist I truly love, lust, enjoy and amused by inflicting pain whether physical or mental on my slave or just see him struggle.

Normal interests and activities include skiing, sailing, baseball and traveling.

About this Blog

What type of topics and other things I will be writing about in this blog:

Obviously the blog experience opens one up to write about just anything and to make specific things and hold myself up to them would be setting myself up to be a big old hypocrite. But here are some thoughts to motivation to write a blog, my interests, thought and writing styles and what I want to put out there.

I will of course write about Mistress/slave power exchange relationships from a theory/general style with personal information and stories scattered in. I want to be a voice that is positive and from a Mistress who has lived this life in long term and real life situations. A Mistress that is passionate for the life the kinky things and still shows a real life and loving dynamic with my other.

I will write on specific kinky things.

I will write on two fetishes that are of a particular interest of mine that get either minimal attention, misrepresented by cyber players and fiction and fear mongers who are not interested in them so therefore they need to be demonized. The two fetishes are cuckolding and watersports.

I will write on how this life is impacted by cyber and in particular people seeking out their other in cyber. I have experienced it both the ways I see it. One time I went looking when I was not ready and another time when I was ready and dealt with men in an honest way.

I will be an advocate for submissive men that are not allowed a voice because of the influence cyber has that has made opinions and desires to often be masked for fear of being labeled selfish and do me subs. I will call out the cyber fakes and dreamers that are having too big of an influence in femdom that hurt and destroy honest communication and people connecting and living this life.

I will call out the errors of many males proclaiming to be subs and point out thoughts and mindsets that are the main reason for their failure of finding a Mistress or getting into bad relationships.

I will sometimes talk about regular things.

I am a pretty hardcore sadist. We often have to hide from and lie to the lowest common denominator that are into this life. I hope as a woman and being open about my actual sadistic feelings and desires that I can be an advocate to more honest communication and acceptance of actual sadism.

What this blog will not have:

I will not recap my sexual adventures. I will not write about every little kinky thing I do to my slave or when I fuck other men. You may get summarized things, quick recaps and even sometimes somewhat detailed if I am out to show something but I am not going to write to get people aroused intentionally.

I will not dwell deeply in my day to day moods and feelings. I cannot stand others that do that in blog form and will keep this free of that.

I will not feel pressure to post a certain amount of times a week or month. I hope to have regular postings that this blog does not have long stretches of nothing new but I will not write just to write. I am hoping, not guaranteeing, quality over quantity.

I will not be selling or promoting anything. This blog is about my life, learning’s and beliefs. I speak from one's view and even if I write in an all knowing theme that is not really what I believe. I do not believe in gross generalizations and one way stuff and any communication to that affect by me is just poor writing and mistakenly believing my passion of my view for my thinking in absolutes.

I will not be posting pictures of myself or others to draw males in. either the written words have merit or they do not.

Please feel free to comment, good or bad, suggest and ask questions. I welcome any type of feedback. Please do not suck up or try to get me to date you or see you. I am happy in my relationship and I am a one slave Mistress.