Be Aware of Narcissists

There is a personality disorder that for people who have it can be drawn to power exchange and in the dominant role. That personality disorder is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I strongly urge every singe submissive to do a Google search and read up on this disorder. These people are truly soulless dark human beings and they specialized in emotional and verbal abuse and neglect.

You cannot diagnose someone with any confidence from just cyber I will point out a few things that can be spotted in profiles, messages and chat sessions to spot these deeply trouble people that lay waste to everyone that gets tangled up in their web.

1) Everyone that has done them wrong or goes against them are portrayed as evil. .They cannot help this so past employers, government people, spouses are always portrayed as useless bad people. Often these people in cyber need to rip on people that either turned them down or they perceive said something negative about them.

2) They without exception always portray themselves as awesome and heroes. They do not make a taco salad but they make a great taco salad. They did not get fired from their last job because of not showing up but were fired because they did their job so well it showed up their boss. Even bad things that happen to them are always portrayed as they did not contribute to .01% of what happen and still what they do to deal you wonder why Hollywood does not make a movie of their life. They are creative writers and just do not sue to scam some money but sue to right a great travesty.

3) They by the time they reach middle age are either very successful in their careers or living off the government, ex spouses or family or some combination and have no jobs or very get quick rich type attempts at producing income. Narcissists need to feel they are better then others and stuck in middle management or some dead end job they simply cannot deal. So for those who are not super successful tend to crash and not compete in the work force because they simply cannot handle not being recognized as awesome. They either act that they are too above it or site some disability that no one that actually knows them can see.

Narcissists feed themselves with what professionals call their narcissistic supply. This supply is a big part attention from one or many and for people to think high of them and if that is in short supply to just think of them even if it is horrible things. You should be able to see then why a Narcissist could be drawn so powerfully to the dominant role. They can demand attention and try to get unlimited hero worship. Just please be very careful as Narcissist can be the ultimate fake charmers but inside you are not a person to them but an object to consume and toss aside when empty.

**UPDATE**

My guy and I bonded a lot over this topic as both of us unfortunately have a sibling with this horrible personality disorder. One of the ways we bonded was when he mentioned a woman he had been in some early communication with sent off alarm bells for this disorder and told me her name to read her profile. Anyway it did scream off narcissist.

When knowing about the actual personality disorder and spending enough time dealing and communicating with a narcissist it opens one to a different world like you have learned a second language fluently and have gone to that country to visit able to understand everyone. In this case reading this woman’s journal was for both of us a fun bonding experience to see how her narcissist brain thinks.

My point or warning is though a specific example that does not make one a narcissist to write but is something I wanted to point out to look out for. In one of her entries she wrote this “Are your fantasies about me or you?”

Now this is a great example in many lessons of the cyber world. A thought like this can come from a narcissists like where I read it, it can come from a dominant stressing the thought of not being all about what is in it for you as a submissive and it can be a learning experience for someone to slow down and think things through. A fantasy is of course always going to be about you, even fantasies that have actions that bring extreme pleasures to another are about you giving those pleasure and your enjoyment of that.

So to read something like this I would call it a red flag. Now a red flag by itself does not mean stop or assume the person is a fraud, trouble and anything less then perfect for you. But just something to think about and proceed with both eyes open. One should figure out if this was just an ill thought out communication about stressing unselfishness in a submissive, was it someone who is clueless about power exchange relationships thinking it is always about them and never their sub. Or in the case of the woman that I used in this example a narcissist who truly needs everything to be about her and that comes with really bad stuff.

Remember when spending a lot of time reading and talking about this life it can be easy to gloss over cliché thoughts or assign non cliché thoughts to cliché thoughts. Always look at this life and look at a person that you think you might want to serve or be served by with two eyes open and walking at a comfortable pace and not running blindfolded.

Advice to all the submissive men

Cyber is a vast wasteland where all types come together. But there is one thing in common and that is adults do not really change and wearing masks will never work for anyone sincerely looking for another person that they fit that want a real life 24/7 relationship. Do not see yourself get frustrated or give up hope because you decide to waste your time on insincere people out of hopeful thinking. Basically that women with ten words on her essay but an attractive picture is not going to be sincere looking for her long term Mister right.

There are sincere people on a site like this looking for a real relationship. There are also going to be many who are insincere some obvious and some fooling themselves more then trying to fool others. In cyber a person can call themselves what they want, they can claim a decade of experience when not having one minute, they can claim they are looking for real life but never meet anyone in real life and all of these things. I am not going to write the spot the fake or whatever derogatory word for someone insincere that lies to others or themselves on a site like this but I do want to point to a few things.

1) People looking to find a real person for real life will project themselves as human and sane. Male or female and dominant or submissive if the person acts like some out there stereotype they are simply not worth your time.

2) My new guy has a great thought about people online that if they do not have an open mind and an open heart you need to pass them by. A profile and journal entries filled with negativity and down right hatred for the people one is looking for is not worth replying to. They are just not really open to meeting someone for any number of reasons that need to be taken care of before they actually do.

3) Do not play the fool and buy into thinking there are nobody on here, but of course you, sincere in wanting a real life power exchange relationship. Men I have to tell you how easily the insincere play you by how much you like to hear about all the other males being fake. Well guess what that is just not the case. I was on here a little more then a month and had eight men I had serious interest in and could have been compatible with. There were probably another eight to ten men I could have easily found to be the same way but just did not have the time or want to waste theirs. Personally I do not buy for one second any female regardless of role or even on a vanilla dating sight to be even remotely sincere in their quest if they have been on a site longer then a couple of months and have not met a man in real life.