Chastity I: Women’s Sexuality

I have wanted to write in detail about the topic of chastity in general for awhile. When thinking about how I wanted to go about writing the post it became clear that I could try to write all what I wanted to include and have a massive post going everywhere or I could separate it to multiple posts and chose the latter.

So what does a woman’s sexuality have to do with chastity? Well when in a relationship it kind of has a big deal to do about it. Most chastity discussion that I have ever read either has very narrow scope of all about the man’s penis or as part of cuckolding often the fantasy of finding a great bull and cutting the man off completely. Well, the thing is what a woman, especially a mistress, wants, needs and desires in her sexual life is going to be huge in how if chastity is in the relationship how it will go down. This is not meant to be the tell all of female sexuality but more just information I want to relate that will go toward chastity in the relationship.

Mixed signals

Women are bombarded by mixed messages and feelings the day puberty hits us if not sooner. On the one hand we are told not to be sluts and good girls do not do stuff. On the other hand we have urges just like men and are being told also to be proud of our bodies and caring for someone includes giving affection to them. Heck, this is even before any discussion of peer pressure even gets thrown into the mix.

The way we dress is one bizarre scenario after another. A woman can wear a bikini by a pool or beach and no one thinks much of it but if a woman wears short shorts and a shirt that shows off a midriff and cleavage on the way to a beach she is dressed as a slut. Wear something that shows off a nice body and some high heals in the wrong way or time she is a skank but high heels and a cocktail dress showing more skin but at a social event is sexy.

Actual sex though is the epitome of society’s mixed message for women. We are of course suppose to love sex when with the person we are with and have feelings for but at the same time we are to try to communicate that we like sex only when with them then just sex in general. We are at the same time suppose to be skilled and creative enough in bed to rock our man’s world but still try to act as virginal as we can.

Women are not water tight compartmentalized our emotions and mind frame count a lot.

Most men if we were to toss away society and relationship rules when horny could fuck pretty much anyone on a moments notice for the most part in terms of if a woman was to go down on them they would get hard and cum. For a woman that is not an automatic and if not in a decent mind frame in addition to being horny will not just easily get to the fun place. You can read, hear and listen to women who all the time who communicate that good sex and orgasms are as much a mental thing as a physical one. Our emotions do count for something.

Whether nurture or nature we tend to be more affectionate and sexually open/turned on the happier we are and when our heart is engaged. We also because of society teachings often connect our other’s love and happiness with us by how much they want to be affectionate and sexual with us. In essence a man always all over us for sex even when we are not in the mood is still way better then the man who stops touching us. Most women want to be considered/made to feel very sexually desirable.

Let us discuss sex and sexual drives

Ask a woman, read surveys or whatever but in terms of actual sex what they may prefer or need. While most, not all, will list oral sex as a thing that is very much enjoyed most will still want intercourse. Whether they prefer it to oral sex in some degree or quite simply besides the physical pleasure of a good fucking there is a very strong emotional connection/feeling gotten from being sexually penetrated either to feel love for the man doing it or just to feel like a woman in some way in the mind.

Because of the mixed signals I wrote about above, people who have suffered bad relationships or at least bad relationships at the end of them and the many female dominants and couples who go looking for free labor that the fact that women have sex drives can be forgotten. Well we women do have sex drives and they can range to the same degree as men from zero/asexual to anytime and anywhere please. For those with sex drive let us say average or more forget what relationship dynamic you have with your other and understand that these women a satisfying sex life of quantity and quality is something they want in their life.

What the hell has this to do with chastity?

I believe chastity is a cruel joke played on men and women who are drawn to it. To be in a relationship with love and in long term that is complete in terms of each others devotion and commitment to each other is complete means that both the man and woman’s sexual needs and desires get met in the relationship. So while the average male wants to be put in chastity they still want for the most part to have orgasms at some time and to be sexually tormented is sexually very satisfying to them. A woman may enjoy chastity by the fun of sexually tormenting their lover or to control their man they still have a sex drive of their own to get quenched.

So one can maybe see why chastity is a complex thing in a relationship when people want it? A woman may want chastity for their man whether short term or long term. Oral sex to satisfy them from a sexual and intimate needs and desires standpoint maybe good enough for some women but most are probably going to want intercourse the happier and hornier they are while also this emotionally feeds us and makes us feel closer to a man. Cuckolding is of course an option but some if not a very high percentage of women are one man woman very naturally and even those that may not be wired for that still have to leap over society hurdles.

It is easy to throw out chastity out of an interest or motivation for something and work back the reasons into a solid theory. Often when we read these theories they have just thought of the man, heck even people like me who believe control the man through his cock tend to be often too one note. But the woman’s sexual desires and needs play a pivotal role in how chastity will play out in a relationship for where it is desired. A woman’s sexuality is complex with mixed signals and not to be dismissed when thinking how chastity is to work in the relationship.

Part two will be about the two ways I see chastity used from a compatibility stand point between men and women.